You Might Be a Redneck......

So I come home from the second half of my grocery shopping for the day...(because after all, it was payday, so that means I'm rich for about....oh, I don't know....a couple of hours)...and frankly, this should be a post all in itself.

I mean, isn't spending multiple hours first at Wal-Mart, and then at Sam's how EVERYONE wants to spend their only day off? And since I'm already off topic from my opening line...I'll just go ahead and park here for just a minute. You see, I've gotten smarter. Why in the world should I rush to the store early in the morning, when I could time it just right to be home when all of the "scavengers that will raid the cabinets anyway", get home to help carry it all in!!!! See there???? I TOLD you I was getting smarter. Because let's face it. It's an act of congress to shop for two weeks for a family of six. Careful planning, budgeting, and VERY strategic turning of an overloaded buggy (sorry...that's grocery cart for those of you not from the south....they're buggies down here....and it took me a while to learn that too....so don't feel bad that you didn't know what that was.)

Anyway, I think you get the point that grocery shopping for two weeks is a big job. So suffice it to say that number one....I was not looking forward to the second half of my shopping which was at Sam's trying to beat their closing time of 8:30pm, and number two.....I was NOT prepared for what I would come home to.

So I come home from the second half of my grocery shopping for the day, only to hear squeals of delight and horror as my 10 year old comes rushing to the door with blood dripping out of his mouth, and my husband standing in the doorway laughing hysterically, and begging me to come look at the video he has just taken on the camera.

And that's where it gets ugly...or redneck, whichever you prefer to call it. Frankly, I think it would make Jeff Foxworthy right proud.

My sweet husband, (who has apparently seen way too many crazy videos on youtube, decides that instead of helping my son pull his loose tooth the conventional way (what a novel idea that would have been), that instead he's going to pull a stunt that he could only pull because I was not here!!!!!

And bless his heart, because he had so much fun doing it, but didn't realize that the camera was turned sideways, so now the video is sideways, and you will be forced to either turn your HEAD sideways to watch it or flip your whole laptop sideways! Either way, if you're a guy, you'll enjoy it....if you're a mom, you will be mortified, as I was.


Now for those of you wondering, yes, that was a cast iron skillet that you saw in the video. And yes, it was tied to his tooth. And no. I would not have approved if I would have been here.

And to make matters worse, we have beige colored berber carpet, which makes finding a tooth a wee bit difficult. Especially when you reach under the couch to see if you can "feel" for the tooth, and your hand runs across something tiny and hard, and you think you have it but instead realize that it is in fact a petrified crumb of....a Chihuahua's accident earlier in the week. (OMG can you believe I just typed that????? But I promised to be real.....and that is what REALLY happened!!)


And yes. We found the tooth, but not before finding a few more lost treasures under the couch, because that is how my living room really looks most of the time.

I'm just sayin'.

Sigh.....

Have you ever just had one of "those days"? You know....the kind that you can't wait until they're over and you sort of wish that you could forget? Yea. Me too. Like today.

Being upset at your kids for something is one thing. But being upset for your kids, is something entirely different. C'mon....all you mama bears out there know what I'm talkin' about. Don't you?

I mean, if you're a mom, then you've had it happen. The coach that doesn't see the same thing you see in your child....the bully on the school bus who thinks it's ok to call your child a Jack*** because his name is Jack, (true story...really happened) or the teacher that implies that you are incompetent as a parent, yet you've managed to raise two daughters to be responsible teenagers, (which is more than SHE can say), so you're confident that you aren't doing such a shabby job on the younger ones.

And you know....I always talk big or "think" big.....but I can never seem to execute that "big"ness when it comes right down to it. Oh I sound all rough and tough in the shower (because we have already established that that is where I ponder things, and now you know that I practice my speeches there as well), but the truth be known, I usually wind up not being as tough as I wanted to be.

And then, to add insult to injury, (not that anyone cares or really even wants to know).....but I stayed the same. The SAME. And for those of you who don't know Weight Watchers jargon.....that means....I didn't lose anything this week.

Wait.

No, that's NOT what that means. It means I didn't lose any weight this week. I have lost plenty of other things...you know, like my temper, my debit card, my keys, my train of thought....what IS it with me anyway? I lose those things all the time!!!

So yea. I thought that since I had such a difficult time just trying to get some exercise this week, that surely I would have lost a 1/2 a pound or SOMETHING. Nope. Not this time. But I'm not losing hope. I have done this before and I will do it again.

Tomorrow needs to be a better day, and next week needs to reflect my hard work as a WW. I'm just sayin'.

Are You Kidding Me???

Okay, so here it is. I'm all mentally prepared to walk this morning (because they say the first step in exercise is thinking about it....and I'm a rule follower. Just ask my friends.;-) ) ANYWAY. I'm not going to lie and pretend that I'm excited about this....because no, I do NOT love exercise. I just don't. And it shows.....

So I'm all mentally prepared, and I even have the proper attire on. I dig through the trenches of my purse for a few minutes (which can be a very scary place at times!), and find my brand new ipod that my sweet husband bought me for Christmas (because my other one died after it got what looked like strawberry yogurt inside of it...isn't that lovely?)

The ipod is dead. Not even a smidgen of battery life. Zilch. Nada.

So I charge it up....no big deal. I'm planning on doing this when I get home from dropping off the boys at school anyway, so that should give it a little time.

Back home, ipod charged, and I decide there's a song I just have to have which will surely make this walk more endurable. (Did I mention that I don't love exercise?) Song...downloaded. Earphones....no where to be found. And I ask myself. Should it really be this much trouble to go for a walk???

You're not going to believe this when I tell you this, I'm sure, because crap like this only happens to me, I think. But I be-bop down the driveway, earphones finally found are in, sun is shining, birds are singing, and I begin looking for THE song. You know the one I downloaded just seconds earlier that would be perfect for walking? Yea that one. IT'S NOT ON THERE. Guess who didn't SYNC her ipod????????????

Now, some of you may think I'm crazy, which is fine, because I probably am. But I turned around, even though I was two driveways up the street and came home and synced my ipod.

And then I thought, oh that's charming. Any of my neighbors who may have been looking out the window just saw me walk past two driveways and turn around and go back home, must have been wondering what in the HECK I was doing. And frankly....I was wondering the same thing.

All of that just to get a little sweaty when I could have been curled up here on the couch reading blogs or keeping up with my friends on facebook. It better be worth it next week when I weigh in. I'm just sayin'.

The Ugly....

Okay, so remember when I said this was about the good, the bad and the ugly? Well, here's the ugly....or at least the ugly for today.

So my daughter comes out of the bathroom and informs me and her daddy that "the bathroom sink won't drain." Nice. Just what I wanted to hear, only seconds after helping my other daughter clean up the kitchen from dinner.

And you know those times in your adult life when you have a whole new appreciation for your own parents and the myriad of things that they did for you as a child that you didn't appreciate at the time? (Wow...that was probably a run on sentence...oh well...I'm talking about ugly here and I'm on a roll.)

Well I just had one of those moments. And frankly, it was more than a moment. It ended up being more like an hour or more of hard core unlicensed plumbing by my husband and yours truly. And just for the record? I could have lived my whole life without knowing what was down inside of the drain in our bathroom sinks.

I mean, if Mike Rowe wants to come here and tape a session of "Dirty Jobs" and give me a cut of the money, that's fine. But just for the sake of Sunday night entertainment at our house? Nah....I'll pass.

I will spare you the absolutely repulsive details.... but for those of you who have never been brave enough to do your own roto-rootering but instead were willing to pay the $100 per hour or more that I'm sure a plumber would have charged us to clear out not ONE, but TWO sinks, let me tell you......you have no idea! GROSS. I'm forever changed.

I'm just sayin'.

Got to thinking.....

So I hopped in the shower (which is where I ponder many of my thoughts), and I got to thinking. I thought about the picture of my living room that I had posted, and the fact that I said, "this is where you will get the real deal", and I thought, "WHAT?" That's not the real deal....FAR from it actually. Which then led me to thinking... that I would never want someone to take one look and think, "Oh wow. Mother of four and her house looks like that? Definitely not my type of blog."

So let me begin by apologizing. (Really...allow me....it's what I do best. People tell me that I apologize for breathing other people's air, and, well....I sorta' do.)

Like I was saying. I am sorry that I misled you. It was just one of those rare moments when my house was all neat and tidy. Truth be known, it was probably moments before the in-laws came over and I had just frantically run through here like a chicken with my head cut off. And...it had just been decorated by my sister-in-law who has amazing natural ability to do that sort of thing.

So now....I will present you with a picture of how it looked this morning, which is how it looks more often than not....I'm ashamed to say. I had to MAKE myself come in here immediately after my shower and take a picture of how it really looked.


See? Now don't you feel better?

I knew I was in trouble when my oldest daughter looks over my shoulder at my original picture and says, "Wow, mom. I think that's like, the first time the living room and kitchen were both clean at the same time!" She's so precious.....pointing out my shortcomings. Did I mention that she's a teenager who can be sarcastic at times? I'm just sayin'.

Finally.....

So this is it.

After much inspiration, contemplating, researching, and questions, I have finally started my blog. And I have to be honest with you....it feels a little weird. I mean, I read blogs all the time, but this one is mine....and I'm feeling like (for the first time in my life), I'm at a loss for words. Well, okay, not REALLY at a loss for words. But more of a "where do I start" sort of feeling.

Who am I? I am a wife of 20 years to an incredible husband, mother to four amazing children, daughter to wonderful parents, sister to three, friend to many, and the lover of Jesus who gave His life for me.

Born and raised in a suburb of St. Louis, married young and moved to the south....the deep south. Yes, it was culture shock....but that's another whole blog post. :-) I'm just sayin'.