Thursday, February 24, 2011

Mom, can we use buttermilk for my smoothie????

Yea.  He asked. 

Poor child...he had already looked for milk and discovered we were out.  And...he had already asked about yogurt for a smoothie...and we were out. 

I gotta' hand it to an 8 year old who asks about buttermilk for a smoothie.  And had it not expired the first week of February, we could have probably worked something out, seeing as how it's tart like plain yogurt.  But expired for two don't think so. 

But I knew I was in trouble when he asked about the half-n-half creamer in there. 

Oh boy.....I'm thinking it's time to go to the store.   

You's "grocery day"....and it is long overdue. 

And I'm not even talking about the run for bread, milk and eggs.  No this is gonna' be the serious trip.  The kind I've got to sweat and toil over. 

You know the kind.  Plan the meals, make the list, spend 3 hours in Wal-Mart, run into everyone I know the day I decide not to wear make up, forget to give the cashier the coupons I worked so hard to match of those shopping trips.

And it's sad...because when I leave the house....I feel rich.  And in just a few short hours, it's gone. 

For another two weeks. 

Or until we're out of toilet paper again. 

I'm just sayin'. 

Thursday, February 10, 2011

I should have known better…..

Then to think that shutting off a home phone and adding another line to the cell plan would be a simple, uncomplicated, non-stressful, task.

What was I thinking??

And here’s what I wanna’ know.

Why does every single person you talk to when you call the phone company, assure you that the information that they are giving you is accurate, and they apologize for the misinformation you have been given by the previous fifteen other customer service reps??

***Disclaimer*** this is a lengthy post, that has oddly large gaps between paragraphs (not sure why), but I feel confident that you will be able to identify....

You see….it all started with that little phone call…to have the home phone turned off, and add a line to the cell plan….“What’s that? You say that I can make my new cell number my old home number?? Well SURE….that would be awesome….and convenient, and perfect, as a matter of fact, but let me just ask you one thing. Is there ANY way that doing that could affect the DSL that I currently have?? Because I have very loyal blog readers (thank you by the way), and I simply cannot be without the internet.” Not to mention…there are probably some more serious matters that I need to take care of on here….you know…like check my Facebook or something.

Well that sweet little thing ASSURED me that in no way would it affect my DSL….

SO by the time our conversation was over on Friday, I was convinced that a certain company who’s name starts with the first letter of the alphabet, had changed their ways. This process was going to be effortless, and painless….and I would ask myself why I hadn’t done it sooner.

And you know that feeling you get when something almost seems too good to be true??

Mmmhmmm….me too.

Sigh. I should have known.

So I nearly knock over the Fed Ex guy when he delivers the new SIM card. I was so anxious to get started on what I knew would be the best decision I had made for our family in years.

Ahem….only to be completely deflated when the “activation department customer service rep” informs me (after 53 automated phone prompts to ensure that I have the proper department) that I must have a defective SIM card and that it’s going to be necessary for me to go to an actual store to get this phone activated.

2nd Sigh…. Of course I had other things I had to do…so this would have to wait another day.

So….I prayed for favor….promised God that I would not be ugly to the unsuspecting customer service rep. when I walked through the door….put on a dab of make up so I would feel better about myself, put on my big girl panties, and marched right into that store.

And don’t you just love how they act when they read the notes on your account?? She’s all raising her eyebrows like it said I was some criminal on there. But she knew better than to cross me…I came prepared with my Fed Ex envelope and my scribbled notes all over my old phone bill with now three different customer service reps names and i.d. numbers….because my daddy taught me to always write down who you spoke with. Although…..I’m sure he didn’t realize back then….that it’s pointless when talking with said company, because no matter how hard you try, you will never be able to talk with the same person again.

And you know….all in all, that visit was pretty painless. She even gave me her cell number to call her if I had any questions at all….or any more problems. As soon as she would activate the new SIM card….my home number would disconnect and we would be in business…and we were.

New cell number worked great. Relief.

Oh! And I should mention, that she AND her manager who was lurking around trying to sell me something else, ASSURED me that in NO way would activating this new cell, and disconnecting home number, have ANY affect on my DSL. Matter of fact…they almost made me feel like an idiot for suggesting such a thing.

And I thought to myself….well, gosh….they ARE the professionals, right? Who am I to question them?

Oh boy.

This is where the story goes south…right here…

So, fifteen minutes later, I’m back home in my warm and toasty house…ready to sit down and blog about my experience (which I thought was over), only to repeatedly be told by my computer that it could not make a connection. Had a great signal…..but the connection couldn’t be made.

Are. You. Kidding. Me?????

Remember the girl’s cell phone number she gave me? Mmmmhmmmm….funny….but she never answered it, and the voicemail wasn’t activated.  How convenient.

And I will spare you all the details….but I can tell you that I spent two hours on the phone with who I thought to be one of the nicest, most helpful gentlemen, who patiently explained which box was my router…which cord was the Ethernet cord….and never made me feel unintelligent about this. When we established that all the previous people I had dealt with had given me “misinformation” (that he apologized for)….he determined that I was going to have to be given a new line that would just be for my DSL….and he was going to have to hand me over to the sales department, but promised to stay on the line with me for this transfer.

Umm….that was before we got disconnected. Straight up…disconnected. Never to speak again.

I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to pick my jaw up off of the floor. I just stared at my cell phone and thought…this has got to be a bad dream.

And you know what that means don’t you??? It means that you have to tell your whole story to yet another customer service rep. And if you’re lucky….they speak English….and of course they apologize for the misinformation previously given. 

Somebody help me here....

This is where I got smart, though. I gave her my number in case we got disconnected…

I know you think that this cannot get worse….but it does. Feel sorry for me….very sorry.

So…she takes care of putting an order in for my new number, and tells me to call back in 30 minutes to the department that can expedite the order, so that I can be up and running by that night.

You’re not even gonna’ believe this….but in 30 minutes, I called and they told me that I had just missed the cutoff time by about 30 minutes.

At this point I started breathing exercises.

I was going to have to *gasp*….wait another day for this. How in the world was my typical-teenage-daughter-who-procrastinates-like-her-mother going to finish her online scholarship application that was due that night???

Good thing we’ve got good neighbors!!!

I am happy to report that our internet has finally been restored….but not without a three hour (yes I said THREE) conversation with a supervisor (that I demanded after I was told I would lose all 5 email addresses on the account and my husband nearly had a heart attack) who walked me through more steps than I ever want to have to repeat again.

I know what modems are….routers, Ethernet cables, and what the weather is like in Shreveport, Louisiana...because me and Andrea are BFF’s now. She was the kindest, most patient, understanding and helpful technical support supervisor that company has. And believe me…she got an earful from me at the beginning of our conversation. But by the end…I wanted to invite her to dinner….she even told me that she wished she could give me a hug once we accomplished our goal.

So I dedicate this lengthy blog post to Andrea at that horrendous company that starts with the first letter of the alphabet.  Without her I feel sure I would be be bald today….and I personally don’t think I would look good without hair.

I’m just sayin’.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

I'm pretty sure.......

that the pain I'm feeling in my fingertips is a feeling I haven't ever felt before. 

Oh I've had pains...but these come from doing an activity work I've never done before.  That would be gardening.  I have never weeded a flower bed or a garden...ever. 

Oh stop being all "What?  Never??  She has NEVER??"  Here's what you apparently don't know about me.  I'm not an outdoorsy kinda' gal.  Never have been....but in recent years, I've taken a liking realized what a nice getaway from the chaos of the kids/housework it can be. 

And for those of you not from this area....I realize that you probably hate me for talking about being outside in sunny, upper 50's temps on Super Bowl Sunday, while you're snowed in, and I'm sorry for you....I really am.  But there are plenty of houses for sale come on down! 

If you'll recall...the only kind of garden I have ever had....was a bucket garden....last year. 

But those of you who are loyal readers (thank you!!),  might remember that the weekend before Thanksgiving, we were outside "preparing" what would be a spot for a garden, and thought that it was worth taking a chance, and planted a very late winter garden. 

I have been nervous, as we have had plenty of nights with mid 20's temperatures.....but I guess that's why it's called a winter garden, because all of the plants have survived, and as I type this, the boys are outside cutting off turnip greens!!!

The picture doesn't do our little winter garden justice, but the turnips are obviously on the left....and WAY on the left barely visible down at the end are green onions...some spinach in front of Jack, romaine lettuce on the right and some broccoli that is questionable...but broccoli is hard to grow, so I really don't care if it doesn't turn out. 

Now for you avid gardeners....don't laugh at my tiny garden.  But for those of you who "know" me....this is a big deal. 

Problem is....(and I'm embarrassed to admit this),  I don't really know how to hoe....and Darwin wasn't here to show me...  So I got my crazy self outside of the house today, and hand picked weeds all around the garden...on a towel, in the dead grass, and now I'm sore all over and my finger tips are killing me and less than attractive!!

And my girls just found out (because they just got home - otherwise I would have had THEM out there doing it), and they're laughing at me.  Straight up laughing...and poking fun at their "not-so-outdoorsy" mother who doesn't know the proper way to use a hoe. 

Apparently they have forgotten that gardening in the winter here is pleasant when you're outside.  There will be a summer garden...and they will get to put their knowledge-of-how-to-use-a-hoe to good use when the temperatures are less than pleasant.  Shouldn't have laughed at me, girls.

I'm just sayin'.