So the "talk" didn't go quite like I had planned.....

Okay....that's totally an understatement. 

Oh stop getting nervous and clammy.....it wasn't the talk....it was just....well....

It went something like this.  (warning....this post is PG...just warning you before you let your preschoolers read it....cause you know I've got preschool aged fans everywhere I go - but seriously....you may want to read it through without any eyes looking over your shoulder)

Okay. 

So here's the scene.  (Gosh....just re-living it makes me sick.)

I'm about to throw on a dab of make-up as the boys and I are getting ready to head out to the beloved Bass Pro Shop to browse and think about how we the boys wanted to spend their gift cards my mom had sent them for Christmas. 

This was pretty darn exciting stuff (for them)....and to keep them out of trouble while I got ready this morning...I had them doing their usual chores....and they were chompin' at the bit.

Jack, in typical fashion, was so excited....and he was bouncing off the walls....and happened to see a little "hat light" in my purse that he had gotten from Santa, and it wasn't working properly.  I had it in there so we could exchange it at Bass Pro Shop. 

And everything was fine until......(this is where my post goes PG) I fuss at him to "put that back in my purse....I had it all ready to go with the receipt!"

I can still hear him now.

"Receipt?  Why would you have a re...... wait a minute....so Santa....(I think you get the idea)

Oh.  My.  Word. 

He took me so off guard.  He had asked a million questions throughout the holidays because some "bully" as he called him, decided it would be nice to tell 2nd graders that it was all simply not true.  He even informed Jack that it was your parents. 

So I knew it was only a matter of time....but this was my baby we're talking about here.  Yes....I did say baby....and yes....I know he's just turned eight. 

But he's my last one.

And I just wasn't prepared at that moment with a good cover up. 

And his reaction only made it worse....it was that look of disbelief and then tears. 

And then I started squawling.  Mmmmmhmmmm....sure did.  Right here with him. 

I mean really....I knew it was coming, but couldn't Kaleigh have left for college first before I had to deal with this??

And the reaction has been the same with all of them.....disbelief....but then the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny get involved and it just all heads south from there. 

Oh my goodness.  I just sat here crying.  And apologizing....

Not sure why....my checkbook is still feeling the pain of Christmas, but there's just something about it that just makes you almost feel like a kid again yourself.  The anticipation.....the lists....the.....

Sigh. 

And it all fell apart when he plopped down next to me on the couch and holds his sweet head in his hands and tearfully says, "I...I just don't know what to say....I feel so dumb." 

Could someone just pick me up off the floor now??????? 

Older brother had been sworn to secrecy as well....and when I saw a tear well up in his eye....I just about lost it completely. 

The rest of the day has been spent with comments like, "So what about....." and "You mean you did that?"

And then tonight....on his way home from basketball practice he says, "But mom....why would ya'll DO all that for me???"  That sweet child couldn't comprehend us giving him what Santa had brought. 

I think that's how we see God sometimes.  Wondering why He would send His Son to this world.....knowing that He would have to pay the ultimate sacrifice for us.  But He just loved us that much.  Wow...what a revelation through my child......

Please don't misunderstand my sadness....it's not about Santa....it's just hard to watch your babies grow up.

I'm just sayin'.